I'm Afraid of Men

I'm Afraid of Men

Book - 2018
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"A powerful meditation on the damaging effects of masculinity from a trans girl--a writer with celebrated indie roots and a knack for dismantling assumptions and challenging the status quo. Toxic masculinity takes many insidious forms, from misogyny and sexual harassment to homophobia, transphobia, and bullying. Vivek Shraya has firsthand experience with nearly all of them. As a boy, Vivek exhibited "feminine" qualities. The men in her life immediately and violently disapproved. They taught her to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon used to hurt her. They taught her to hate her femininity, to destroy the best parts of herself. In order to survive, Vivek had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity. As a girl, she's still afraid. Having spent years undoing the damage and salvaging her lost girlhood, she is haunted by the violence of men, seldom dressing the way she wants in public. As a result she is often still perceived as male, stirring feelings of guilt and self-doubt: Am I not feminine enough? Is this my fault for striving to be the perfect man and excelling at it? I'm afraid of men is a culmination of the years Vivek spent observing men and creating her own version of manhood. Through deeply personal reflection, she offers a rare and multifaceted perspective on gender and a hopeful reimagining of masculinity at a time when it's needed more than ever"-- Provided by publisher.
Publisher: Toronto :, Penguin Canada,, [2018]
Copyright Date: ©2018
ISBN: 9780735235939
Branch Call Number: 819.36 Shray
Characteristics: 85 pages : illustrations ; 19 cm
Alternative Title: I am afraid of men

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pokano
Jul 08, 2020

Eye-opening mini-memoir by a transgender girl who describes what life is like for her, both growing up and into her thirties. She finds she has a hard time trusting both men and women. A good book for putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

d
DracAthos
Sep 17, 2019

This title was nominated for a 2019 Evergreen Award

The topic of this book was informative and left you thinking and wondering a little bit more about yourself and the world at large.

The low rating is mostly about the style of writing, the confusion of points of view. It jumped from topic to topic, changing style with little care.
At first, I thought there might a cohesion of all the essays but there was not.
I was left, after my half hour of reading this, confused and wondering why this was a nominated book.

r
redtayres
Aug 31, 2019

A wee little book that can be consumed fully inside of one hour, "I'm Afraid of Men" is mostly thoughtful and insightful on today's hot-topic issues of gender and privilege. I heard though might not have agreed with everything the author wrote here but appreciated that the cons format kept the topic at a digestible level, for this is one area that I think most media go on ad infinitum over. A though-provoking little work.

liljables Sep 07, 2018

This small volume packs an incredible punch. As a cisgender, heterosexual, white person, I know intellectually that I'll never fully understand the struggles of a transgender, bisexual person of colour, but I feel utterly privileged that Vivek Shraya would share her deeply personal story and offer a glimpse into her journey.

Whether you're the most woke ally out there or you just thought to yourself "what's cisgender?", this book is a must-read. You will learn something (especially if the title of this book makes you uncomfortable).

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